Tuesday, May 7, 2013

The Commoner Has Many Fears

I'm laughing so hard right now because obviously the person who thought of this challenge had no idea that I would be doing it.  I think I've counted 47 phobias!  I'm not even kidding.




Before I go through my phobias I have to tell you I'm not afraid of everything.  I'm not afraid of cities, airplanes, or heights. See? I'm normal.  Right?

There are so many things I'm afraid of.  I'll give you my top 3.



It could be my urban East Coast upbringing by I have a real fear of Cowboys.  This is ironic given Hollister is full of ranches in remote places with tons of cowboys all over the place...and rodeos.

A cowboy can tie you to a post on a ranch and leave you there for the buzzards to eat if you make him mad.  I make people mad all the time.  I'm at risk here.

Fear Number 2


  NATURE!

See that picture?  There are so many things in that picture that can kill you.  Water falls, rocks, raging rivers, cowboys, bears, trees that can fall on you, bugs, dirt, cold water.  Shall I go on?  

The only nature I like is my running trail, but that's hardly nature really.  It's an asphalt path surrounded by a free way and a lake.  


Fear Number 3

There's so much to fear here, the food, the bugs, the uniforms, the lack of tv, no shopping, death, bugs in your food, bugs in your bed and hair, the lack of beauty products, the prison gangs, the chains, 

Need I go on?  I'm even afraid of being on a jury because it's close to the prisoner and they might mistake me for her and put me in jail.

What else am I afraid of you ask?  Fire, burglary, little cowboys, scary tv shows, uniforms, bugs, lobsters, open water, cold water, getting beat up, being homeless, nuns, being burried alive, clowns, and oh yes, going to Hell.