Friday, January 6, 2012

The Commoner's Resolution to spend Time with Mickey Mouse


In keeping with my resolution to be more like P Diddy I sat down last week and listed all the places I'ld like to go this year.  Topping the list was Disneyland.
Well I got a jump on that resolution today as I spent the day with a mouse who may or may not have been named Mickey.  I'll say Mickey because that makes him Mickey Mouse.
 In my house I've seen spiders, ants, an unknown bug, but never had I seen a mouse.  I had a mouse in my class last year and evacuated the whole classroom everytime I saw him until the janitor showed me the body.  Every student in my class last year remembers that-they will never forget.
It was an innocent enough morning on my last day of Christmas vacation and I had the whole day to just lounge around, hang out on the couch, and go for a run-woo hoo!  I was getting Rob's tea because one of my resolutions is to make sure Rob has tea 5 times a day. 
A nano second before Rob appeared in the doorway of the kitchen I saw something speed by the dining room -hmm-what's that a ball-and then Rob came in and I said did you kick something-no he says and then I saw it again-A mouse.
I instantly started screaming, crying, and was frozen to the kitchen floor.  I couldn't move all I could do was say kill it, help me, save me, don't leave me, you've got to help me.  I'm not making this up I said all of that really loud and desperate.
He tosses his tea cup which was empty  and says make tea I'm going to be late and starts moving things and swatting things with the Christmas gift wrap roll. I say I can't move I can't make your tea-I certainly couldn't step into the dining room to pick up the travel mug.  Well Rob had to go to work but not before he gave me all of my running apparatuses that were on the dining room table.  
At that point I decided that with trusty Benjie acting as my guard I would not go downstairs again the rest of the day.  I put Benjie's leash on and said come with me we're getting breakfast at McDonalds.
I haven't had McDonalds in years and I never take Benjie with me anywhere because he's crazy but off we went to the drive thru.  I could only eat half the egg mcmuffin and the coffee was so hot it took hours to drink.  Even Benjie hated the McMuffin.
So the rest of the day went something like this.  I was dressed in boots so the mouse couldn't crawl up my leg.  Benjie guarded me on the steps, I starved because I wouldn't go in the kitchen, people on facebook roared with laughter-go ahead check my profile-Benjie would sit on my lap, rob would call and laugh, I made loud noises wherever I went.
  I had every tv on loud and every light on bright.  One of my resolutions is to totally give in to my phobias- all 134 of them. Yes that was my day-I wouldn't lie.
I did manage to get my run in where the following things happened-I was almost hit by a garbage truck that was backing up-(I'm not kidding)-I maneuvered around a woman walking one of those tall dogs-who she couldn't control and who had never seen someone run-and I was almost run down by a couple of 4 year olds on scooters.
Rob has set traps-he'll tell me he caught the mouse and I'll never really know if it's true or not because I won't ask to see the body (I still have nightmares from the body in my classroom).
So in keeping with my resolution to only make use of one floor in my house the commoner has decided that she may substitute New Orleans for Disneyland this year.