Tuesday, January 10, 2012

The Commoner Would Be A Zombie



I'm lucky because I spend my day with 8 year olds.  8 year olds are awesome because they are smart and independent but still have that magical child element about them.  It's probably the last year where they still have that innocence because something about going to As and Bs on report cards rather than E for excellent and S for satisfactory and the prospect of Principal's Honor Roll strips them of their innocence.


The other day one of them asked me a question and it got me to thinking.  They asked me if I thought that being a zombie would be a terrible thing and I was like of course-it would be horrible-you are undead and you walk around scaring people.  But later on that  day I thought again about that conversation.  One of my resolutions is to overthink and rethink everything I say throughout the day.


I think I've mentioned my love of vampires going back to Dark Shadows when I was very, very young.  It started my love of vampires and soap operas as well.  I loved the Ann Rice Books the Brad Pitt movie and have even accepted the Twilight Brand in spite of the fact they don't drink human blood.


And then I thought-A commoner could never be a vampire-commoners don't wear those designer clothes and live in mansions.  Commoners don't recklessly seduce humans just to later on kill them and suck the living life out of them-that's what the super rich do (hey I love you super rich).

  Commoners don't have the money for all the plastic surgery that vampires must have to keep that young look  forever and a commoner could never pull off sleeping in a coffin-we need our comfy beds because we have to get a good rest to go to work.  We don't drive the fancy cars and we can't stay out all night-again we have to work.

No my friends a Commoner would be a zombie -in fact on any given work day you might feel this way already.  We work in packs-we are the working stiff.  Day in day out march march march-we are the 99%.  You can hit us over the head with a mallet but unless you shoot us in the head we are going to keep on going.  Sometimes we forget the point of our march we just keep on marching.  Our goal in life recruit more zombies.

But that's okay commoners because zombies are in vogue and some might say even more popular than those vampires.  I love the Walking Dead-hundred of zombies each episode and they look like they are having a great time.  I would love to be one of those actors.  There's I am Legend -which aggravates me for it's very blatant plot error which I'll some day blog about.  And just yesterday on TCM I watched this great movie The Last Man on Earth from 1963 starring Vincent Price-that's right Thriller/Brady Bunch Vincent Price.  It was a version of I am Legend and those zombies were light years ahead of their time.


So commoners while they  are not as glamorous as our friends the vampires we should definitely embrace our undead brothers for all their work ethic.  Hey-who wants to write a story about vampires and zombies?