Tuesday, July 17, 2012

The Commoner Officiates A Golf Tournament







That's right your eyes do not deceive.  Because when it comes to honesty and golf I'm your girl.  

My friend Megan runs a tournament which is for a charity and named after Kelly Frietas.  I don't know who she is but she must have been pretty special because a lot of people show up for this tournament.  It's held at San Juan Oaks which is the fanciest of the three golf courses in my town.  Which seems like a lot to me but whatever.

Kristen was volunteering to help out and I said "I'm in too."  We commoners are big at volunteering.  It may be why we aren't rich-we do a lot of things for nothing or next to nothing.  We're givers-hey you probably are too!


When we got to the event we were told we would be working the hole in one competition for a new car.  I knew we would be at the hole in one competition, but I didn't know that meant they won a car.  I was picturing a windmill.  What's worse-if we weren't there as witnesses they couldn't have the car-PRESSURE!!


I had no idea my afternoon in the sun with the golfers was going to carry so much pressure.  The next job was driving out to the hole we would be working by following one of the employees. 


He showed us to our golf cart-which I love-I really love those things.  If you ever need someone to drive a cart for you that's me.  He said okay press the throttle.  My first question was-what's a throttle.  He looked at me weird.  I'm sorry I don't drive throttle vehicles.


So we zipped around the golf course, which never seemed that big from the dining room which I've been too many times.  Finally we arrived at a place which looked like the side of a desolate highway.  No plush green grass, some weeds, some fallen leaves, and hopefully not any snakes.  

We pull out and we park the carts and I ask where's the finish.  He looks at me again and says-I'll be sure to check on you guys often to make sure you are okay.

I'm in trouble already.  The only instruction he gave us was to look sexy.  I said, "No problem we got that."

He took us to the T-off spot (or whatever you called it) and showed us where the women hit from and the men hit from.  He said there would be about 8 teams up at a time and you had to be super quiet.  You couldn't say things like -"bad shot".

  I know golfers are a cranky lot and I volunteered to go to the finish part, also known as the hole or whatever.  He told me he had been here since the golf course opened and only two people got holes in one on this hole.  It  sounded a lot safer to be there where I could chat with them under less pressure.  Plus I was sure someone would pay me off to say they got a hole in one and could take the Ford Focus home.  Hey-I can be bought.

Just kidding.  I drove my car to the finish-or hole-positioned it in the sun.   Did I say car? I meant to say cart.  I've been working on a tan all summer this was a great opportunity.  Spare the lectures.

Finally a bunch of golf carts came up the path and they all waved at me and I waved at them and I had no idea what was going to happen since I don't play golf.  All of a sudden I notice a ball go right past the hole out of no where! OMG this is close I wasn't even watching!  (I can say that now).  It didn't go in but that was close.

As time went on the golfers came and went, I smiled and chatted, I offered to make deals for the car (kidding-golfers have a huge conscious).  A family of deer hung out for a while.  They were really cute.

  Also as time went on it got windy and less and less people were even making their ball get to the green.  But apparently you could pick the ball up and PLACE it there and all of you could try again.  I guess.  But no one could really get it in, it always stopped before the hole.

Finally I started giving advice to the players.  "You have to hit the ball really hard because no one is making it to the hole."  So they would listen and maybe do better.  I'm nice like that.  I like to help people.


Lots of people rode by to check on me.  Snacks, pizza, and the guy who drove us out to our hole and probably figured we had no idea what we were doing.

All in all it was a lot of fun. I learned how to be a golf coach.  I  didn't cheat.  I got a nice tan and they gave us a great bar b que lunch.

 This Kelly girl must have been someone special that so many came out to help her. Kristen and I both said we would help again next year.