The Way A Commoner Gives Birth

I realize that my children are  in their twenties and this makes them dinosaurs-for instance-they slept on their stomachs so they wouldn't choke-gasp gasp.  However I remember vividly the birth of all three of them and let me tell you-this week I have learned that the birthing experience of a commoner is much different than the birthing experience of a hip hop mogul/king of New York and a Diva.

Now don't get me wrong I love both Jay Z and Beyonce-I have lots of their albums (or whatever they're called) and think he's a genius and she's amazing. They seem intelligent, beautiful, and really in love.   But boy oh boy....talk about the birth of a princess.




Beyonce and Jay Z took over the whole fourth floor of Lenox Hill hospital. She came in under the assumed name Ingrid Jackson.  There was security all over the outside of the hospital and the security cameras were covered inside  so there could be no pictures.  They had gourmet food and wine catered into the hosipital and even the doctors and nurses couldn't go onto the floor.  

In fact I read that there was this dad who's wife just had premies in intensive care and he kept getting kicked out of the waiting room.  After the baby was born it was given the name Blue Ivy which started all sorts of rumors about everything from paint chips to Satan's spawn.  Then Jay Z released  a song about all of this and has made another trillion dollars.


That's how a diva gives birth. One of my New Year's Resolutions is to work on my compare and contrast skills so let me do some comparing and contrasting for you.  

When I gave birth I had to room with a changing array of women who snored in their sleep-if they slept.  I was woken at 6AM exactly and lights went out at 9PM.  I was fed jello and some other foods of the day which were really just yummy.   Of course I couldn't be admitted until I went to the cashier and showed my proof of insurance, payment arrangements, and left arm.

I was aloud two and only two visitors at a time.  I had to pay for the privelage of three channels a day on the tv and was charged for every phone call.  My husband and I gave our children names we were sure they could go to the store and be able to buy those little license plates with their names on  them.  My children were kept in nurseries with however other babies were born that day.  


All in all my children didn't win the birth lottery, but they have done pretty well.  I may never have written them a song or had visits from Aunty Gwyneth or Aunty Rhianna-but they did okay.


Good luck to Jay and B and little girl Blue-I think you may need it-but I can tell you this commoner's going to enjoy watching what this baby wears and see who see who she hangs out with.